Tired
*Sigh*
I'm getting tired at this rate.
So tired to hear my mother talked bad about my auntie and vice versa.
Both of them just said this and that complaining each other indirectly.
I dun feel happy at all.
I got an argument with my auntie before and we became strangers somehow.
*Bitter smile* Tragedy, indeed!
After all just becoz of another strange person, the relationship between me and her for 22 years disappeared out of nowhere.
Very tragedy!!!
And my mother!
I dun know how to talk to her, to explain her what she should and should not do
Why does she keep thinking that she's right and auntie's wrong.
I just told her that both of them were wrong. Very wrong!!!
and she told me off.
Ha ha ha.....I HATE this!
I hate when the elderly always think that they are always correct and have a right to tell their children off.
Why? Why? Why?
When they make mistakes, they dun want to apologize to their children.
They think that they have the right to do it?
This is what makes me irritated and tired.
Dun make excuse that we're Asians and the children must always apologize to their elderly even they are not the ones who do wrong here.
I'm 22 years and a half at this moment and going to be 23 in 5 months.
I'm an adult! I have my own opinions, my concept of life and know what is wrong and what is right.
Why I have to apologize to my auntie when the one did wrong is her, not me?
Why I am told that I'm so stupid like a cow when I dun want to agree with my mother's opinion?
Why and why?
I hate when my mother keeps forcing my father to choose between his wife and his sister.
Why is she so selfish such that?
Why has she never thought how my father is feeling right now?
When father talked back to her, she began screaming, yelling, shouting everyone.
OMFG, I really really HATE her when she becomes like that.
She keeps telling people that how hard she works hard for this family, how much she has to sacrifice for this family.
I'm really irritated.
She said like father didn't do anything for his family.
All she talked about that money and money.
Becoz of money, she can afford my studying.
Becoz of money, she can buy many things for the family.
Mommy, ur a shallow person here, but u keep saying ur very profound.
It's getting ridiculous when she talked about money.
I remember my late grandmother used to talk to me that when I become a parent, I must devote to my kids, no matter how hard the life is, u must think of ur child first.
She also said that I must NEVER tell my kids how hard I work, how much I sacrifice for them, never burden them with it. A parent only thinks of how to make a good and comfortable life for their child, do not think about how their child MUST repay to them in future.
That's why I love my grandmother so much.
I love her becoz she devoted all her life for their children, how she afforded many jobs just to earn money for her kids.
I love her and respect her.
Why my mother cannot become a great woman like my late grandmother?
Mom never thinks of others.
She tells people that she cares for her family in the public
But what I have seen for many years is that she devotes her life only to herself.
She's still a mother but her motherhood is like 1/100 of other mothers.
I dun wanna say that I'm unfortunate to be born in this family.
I've always appreciated and been thankful that God gave me this family.
I was born healthily
I was raised with the love from my late grandparents, father and the others.
I went to good school, had good food, good shelter.
I'm hundreds better than many other kids out there.
However, I'm so tired of this thing.
I realized that it's better to live away from my mother.
It's the best way after all.
Perhaps, when I live far from her, I still have some love left for her.
At this rate, I dun know when this "some love" will disappear.
She told in front of me that she gave birth to me but she knows that I will never love her, I will never obey her, will never think of her.
The last thing I want to tell her if I have a chance to move out from her house is that
"Mom, it's not that I dun love u, just becoz ur burdens put on me made my love for u fade away gradually. U gave me life but u cannot control my life forever. If u had ever put aside ur selfishness, u would have become a great mother and wife to me".
Mommy will never change.
She likes being superior to others.
Father, me and my little sister will always be below her.
Father and my sister often endure her.
Sorry daddy, I dun think I will be able tto endure her for the rest of my life.
If peace of family is made by enduing each other like that, I dun think I want to have my own family in future.
Why I have to put my child in suffer just becoz my husband will never think of me and my child as his extreme priority.
Maybe I'm pessimistic, I feel that being single is the most ideal choice for me.
And money is somehow disgusting. It can make people become enemies as well as even change their personality.
It's very scary!!!
"Bitter smile"
I'm getting tired at this rate.
So tired to hear my mother talked bad about my auntie and vice versa.
Both of them just said this and that complaining each other indirectly.
I dun feel happy at all.
I got an argument with my auntie before and we became strangers somehow.
*Bitter smile* Tragedy, indeed!
After all just becoz of another strange person, the relationship between me and her for 22 years disappeared out of nowhere.
Very tragedy!!!
And my mother!
I dun know how to talk to her, to explain her what she should and should not do
Why does she keep thinking that she's right and auntie's wrong.
I just told her that both of them were wrong. Very wrong!!!
and she told me off.
Ha ha ha.....I HATE this!
I hate when the elderly always think that they are always correct and have a right to tell their children off.
Why? Why? Why?
When they make mistakes, they dun want to apologize to their children.
They think that they have the right to do it?
This is what makes me irritated and tired.
Dun make excuse that we're Asians and the children must always apologize to their elderly even they are not the ones who do wrong here.
I'm 22 years and a half at this moment and going to be 23 in 5 months.
I'm an adult! I have my own opinions, my concept of life and know what is wrong and what is right.
Why I have to apologize to my auntie when the one did wrong is her, not me?
Why I am told that I'm so stupid like a cow when I dun want to agree with my mother's opinion?
Why and why?
I hate when my mother keeps forcing my father to choose between his wife and his sister.
Why is she so selfish such that?
Why has she never thought how my father is feeling right now?
When father talked back to her, she began screaming, yelling, shouting everyone.
OMFG, I really really HATE her when she becomes like that.
She keeps telling people that how hard she works hard for this family, how much she has to sacrifice for this family.
I'm really irritated.
She said like father didn't do anything for his family.
All she talked about that money and money.
Becoz of money, she can afford my studying.
Becoz of money, she can buy many things for the family.
Mommy, ur a shallow person here, but u keep saying ur very profound.
It's getting ridiculous when she talked about money.
I remember my late grandmother used to talk to me that when I become a parent, I must devote to my kids, no matter how hard the life is, u must think of ur child first.
She also said that I must NEVER tell my kids how hard I work, how much I sacrifice for them, never burden them with it. A parent only thinks of how to make a good and comfortable life for their child, do not think about how their child MUST repay to them in future.
That's why I love my grandmother so much.
I love her becoz she devoted all her life for their children, how she afforded many jobs just to earn money for her kids.
I love her and respect her.
Why my mother cannot become a great woman like my late grandmother?
Mom never thinks of others.
She tells people that she cares for her family in the public
But what I have seen for many years is that she devotes her life only to herself.
She's still a mother but her motherhood is like 1/100 of other mothers.
I dun wanna say that I'm unfortunate to be born in this family.
I've always appreciated and been thankful that God gave me this family.
I was born healthily
I was raised with the love from my late grandparents, father and the others.
I went to good school, had good food, good shelter.
I'm hundreds better than many other kids out there.
However, I'm so tired of this thing.
I realized that it's better to live away from my mother.
It's the best way after all.
Perhaps, when I live far from her, I still have some love left for her.
At this rate, I dun know when this "some love" will disappear.
She told in front of me that she gave birth to me but she knows that I will never love her, I will never obey her, will never think of her.
The last thing I want to tell her if I have a chance to move out from her house is that
"Mom, it's not that I dun love u, just becoz ur burdens put on me made my love for u fade away gradually. U gave me life but u cannot control my life forever. If u had ever put aside ur selfishness, u would have become a great mother and wife to me".
Mommy will never change.
She likes being superior to others.
Father, me and my little sister will always be below her.
Father and my sister often endure her.
Sorry daddy, I dun think I will be able tto endure her for the rest of my life.
If peace of family is made by enduing each other like that, I dun think I want to have my own family in future.
Why I have to put my child in suffer just becoz my husband will never think of me and my child as his extreme priority.
Maybe I'm pessimistic, I feel that being single is the most ideal choice for me.
And money is somehow disgusting. It can make people become enemies as well as even change their personality.
It's very scary!!!
"Bitter smile"
